#IB...more like IB suffering

[catgirljaneway]

Hey! Sorry for disappearing for a huge chunk there. Honestly, it will likely continue like this for a bit, school is kicking me in the stomach (mostly my own fault, i'm a terrible procrastinator) and I need to deal with that. Just letting y'all know I'm only dead spiritually! Live long and prosper nerds i'll be back

[hanakihan]

IB AU chulwoo but it’s Sung Jin-Woo (artist), Sung Jin-Woo (aka painting titled ‘Shadow Monarch’) and Sung Jin-Woo (aka even older painting titled ‘Ashborn’) pointing at each other Spider-Man meme style with Jin-Chul losing his fucking mind on background trying to understand who’s the real one and who’s the impostors

[tipsywench]

this is kinda becoming my GI-issues blog because I keep writing about it but I'm seriously wondering if I've got crohn's disease or something

what sucks is having to wait a whole month to see a doctor because this time I specifically picked someone who had reviews that said shit like, "he actually listens to my concerns" because in the past every dr or nurse I've seen has been a totally dismissive piece of shit

[mothmanchronicler]

"i love having a functioning digestive system" <- me when i pass entirely undigested radish micro greens

[cuntyji]

ib by toji's version of this post by @reignpage, no reader gender specified - can be read as male/female/gn whatever!!!! toji & reader are in an established relationship [of your choice - dating/marrried].

“fucccckkk, yeah—right there. harder. deeper, c’mon baby, don’t be shy. put y'er whole weight into it.”

“jesus fucking christ, could you two keep it down?” gojo groaned, dramatically pressing a pillow over his face as yet another loud, guttural moan echoed through the walls. megumi, sitting cross-legged on the couch, shot him a disgusted glance. “can you not involve jesus in this?”

"yeah, it’s already bad enough we can hear it, don’t make it worse with religious guilt," nobara added, stuffing popcorn into her mouth. yuuji, however, looked oddly concerned. “but… doesn’t he sound like he’s in pain?”

a particularly loud moan rattled the walls.

megumi pinched the bridge of his nose. “i hate that you’re making me say this, but maybe that’s how he likes it.”

gojo shot up from his seat. “that’s it! i’m putting an end to this.”

“sensei, for the love of god, don’t—”

but gojo was already marching toward the room, righteous fury in his steps. he didn’t just suffer through one interrupted scene of legally blonde—oh no, this had been going on for the entire movie, and he was at his limit.

with zero hesitation, he slammed open the door.

“okay, first of all—what the actual fu—”

his words died in his throat. because instead of whatever soul-scarring image he had prepared himself for, he found you walking on toji’s back.

literally.

you had one foot pressing into his shoulder blade, the other digging into his lower spine, your arms outstretched for balance.

toji, lying face down on the futon, groaned as you applied more pressure. “ah—fuck, yeaahhhh, right there.”

gojo blinked once.

twice.

thrice.

“...what the hell am i looking at.”

you turned your head lazily. “a deep tissue massage?”

toji, still lying flat on his stomach, grunts. “the fuck d'ya want?”

gojo raises a shaky hand. “i—i don’t know what’s worse. the fact that i thought you were getting absolutely railed into next week, or the fact that i thought you were the one getting railed into next week.”

your eye twitches. “i’m giving him a massage.”

“is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?”

“oh my god—”

“so you admit this is weird,” gojo snaps, pointing aggressively. “like, i came here to tell you to shut the fuck up, ‘cause i can’t hear reese witherspoon’s iconic ‘what, like it’s hard?’ line over your sex noises—”

“not sex noises,” you interrupt.

“—and what do i find? you stepping all over toji like a goddamn cockroach. i don’t know if i should be relieved or more disturbed.”

“ever had a slipped disc before, six eyes? feels like god’s punishing you for every bad thing you’ve ever done,” toji grumbled, his voice muffled against the futon. “this is the closest i’ve gotten to enlightenment.”

you pressed your heel into a particularly stiff knot. toji let out an obscene moan.

gojo recoiled like he’d been physically struck.

“nope. nope.” he turned on his heel, immediately exiting the room. “i don’t know if this is better or worse than what i thought i’d see, but i’m not sticking around to find out. i think i’d rather have walked in on you two fucking.”

yuuji, megumi, and nobara watched as he returned to the couch, sat down in complete silence, and resumed watching legally blonde.

“…so?” nobara asked, nudging him.

gojo simply popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth and said, deadpan, “megumi was right. he likes it rough.”

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Jamie Ducharme

When you reach for a COVID-19 test, it’s probably because you’ve got a scratchy throat, runny nose, or cough. But those are far from the only symptoms that make Dr. Rohit Jain, an internal medicine doctor at PennState Health, suspect the virus.

These days, when someone complains of nausea, diarrhea, or vomiting, “I always get a COVID test on that patient,” Jain says.

Why? Despite its reputation as a respiratory virus, SARS-CoV-2 can also have a profound impact on the gut. Although most people don’t realize it, “COVID-19 really is a GI-tract disease” as well as a respiratory illness, says Dr. Mark Rupp, chief of infectious diseases at the University of Nebraska Medical Center.

Here’s what to know about the gastrointestinal symptoms of COVID-19.

What are the GI symptoms of COVID-19? While some people experience no gastrointestinal symptoms or mild ones, a subset of COVID-19 patients have experienced significant digestive symptoms since the early days of the pandemic.

Loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and stomach pain are common GI symptoms of COVID-19, according to Jain’s research. Some people experience these issues as their first signs of infection, he says, while others initially experience cold-like symptoms and develop gastrointestinal issues as their illness progresses.

It’s not entirely clear why the same virus can affect people so differently, but it’s good to be aware that SARS-CoV-2 can result in a wide range of symptoms, Rupp says.

How long do GI symptoms of COVID-19 last? Some patients recover in a matter of days, Jain says, while others may suffer from diarrhea and other symptoms for weeks.

Still others may be sick for even longer. Gastrointestinal problems are a common manifestation of Long COVID, the name for chronic symptoms that follow a case of COVID-19 and can last indefinitely.

One recent study in Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology found that, among a small group of adults who were hospitalized when they had acute COVID-19, more than 40% who originally experienced GI problems such as stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea still had at least one a year or more later. Overall, whether they were hospitalized or not, adults who have had COVID-19 are about 36% more likely than uninfected people to develop gastrointestinal disorders including ulcers, pancreatitis, IBS, and acid reflux, according to a 2023 study published in Nature Communications.

GI problems are also common among kids with Long COVID. Stomach pain, nausea, and vomiting are telltale signs of the condition among children younger than 12, according to 2024 research published in JAMA.

Why a respiratory virus affects the gut How can the same virus cause both a runny nose and the runs?

Once SARS-CoV-2 gets into your body, it infects cells by binding to a protein called ACE2, which is found throughout the body. ACE2 is prevalent in the lungs, which helps explain COVID-19’s respiratory symptoms—but it’s also found in high concentrations in the gastrointestinal tract, “so it makes sense that the GI tract would be a target for the virus,” Rupp says. It’s in part because SARS-CoV-2 collects in the gut that wastewater surveillance is a useful tool for tracking the virus’ spread, Rupp adds.

Studies have shown that the virus can hide out in the “nooks and crannies” of the digestive system for months or even years, says Ziyad Al-Aly, a clinical epidemiologist at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis who co-authored the Nature Communications study on chronic post-COVID GI symptoms. This may explain why gut-related symptoms can long outlast an acute infection, Al-Aly says—but there are many potential hypotheses in play, and researchers don’t know for sure which one or ones are correct.

For example, many researchers also think the virus is capable of causing widespread and sometimes long-lasting inflammation, potentially affecting organs throughout the body. This inflammatory response may have trickle-down effects on the gut microbiome, the colony of bacteria and other microbes that live in the GI tract, Rupp says. “We’re just scratching the surface as to what happens there,” Rupp says, but studies have already shown that SARS-CoV-2 can change the composition of the gut microbiome both during an acute infection and chronically.

There’s also a complex relationship between the gut and the brain, adds Dr. Badih Joseph Elmunzer, a gastroenterologist at the Medical University of South Carolina and co-author of the Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology study on prolonged post-COVID GI symptoms. His research suggests people are particularly likely to suffer long-term GI problems if they also have signs of PTSD from their acute illness or hospitalization.

That’s not to say GI symptoms are all in patients’ heads; on the contrary, Elmunzer says, they are very real. But, he says, there’s a lot left to learn about the microbiome, the gut, and the myriad ways they interact with other bodily systems.

[thebearhungers]

Noisy digestion: There's nothing better than hearing your food getting burbled into belly brew.

Skeletal remains visible: What can I say, I'm a sadistic guy.

Weight gain: It really depends how MUCH weight. I do like a pred being visibly fatter after the fact, but within reason. I don't want them to gain 100+ pounds overnight, and while it's variable due to height, I'd say around 350 Ibs is the upper end I like to see in preds.

Prey is sitting amongst remains: Somewhat arousing to think of it being that much more unpleasant for them in there. A chilling reminder of what's in store for them.

Goopy digestion: It's OKAY, but it's not as appealing to the sadist in me to think of them just literally melting into goop instead of becoming bones.

Acid digestion: It's my favorite fate to subject people to!

Pred is not used to digestion: Not 100% sure what is meant by this. I'd guess indigestion, but that's a separate category. I guess they're just a fledgling vore pred? A little awkward, maybe a little ticklish, but still enjoying it? That's pretty cool.

Prey can regenerate: I do find extremely limited appeal to the idea of a pred swallowing and digesting someone over and over against their will endlessly, but outside of that vore needs to mean the end of a life if I'm gonna be into it.

Prey is willing: I really prefer the cruelty of gurgling up somebody who desperately DOESN'T want it, but willing prey are still digestible enough.

Dejection: I won't make any assumptions about what this means, because I could imagine several scenarios. But whatever it is, it's too niche to warrant being on this list.

Pred keeping memento of their prey: It's fine I guess, but I prefer my prey flushed and forgotten forever.

Indigestion: It's not my preference, but every once in a while I will indulge in some bellyache vore. It's got a different sort of flavor to it. A nice little kick to spice things up when they're getting stale, keep the vore fresh. And as a friend once said to me, there is something hot about the juxtaposition between the mild "first-world problem" of a pred's bellyache next to the slow and horrible death happening inside them.

Prey begging: Begging for your life only makes it hotter to keep you in there~

Pred Not Vore Fetishist: Yeah, I dunno, there's just something so magical about this. As cruel and monstrous as I am, I don't think my callousness can compete with that of someone who's not even into vore but still chooses to digest someone alive. Whether for the fun of it, out of curiosity, on a dare, just because they were feeling peckish, whatever the reason; it takes an unmatched level of heartlessness to put someone through that kind of suffering when you're not even planning on getting off to it. Such pointless suffering.

[taldigi]

I think I realized why I like dog boy Yosuke and the direction you are taking it. It takes the "would you love me as a worm" question but applied properly. It blends like the connections between disability/autism and furries. Disability/autism in terms of pain of progressing the transformation and acting more like a dog and Yosuke feeling bad about it but Yu being accepting of it. Like any relationship that a partner has a disability you have good/bad days. And furries in terms of slowly not feeling human anymore.

It's when Yu takes dog Yosuke out and about and people are like "wtf why you bring your dog everywhere it doesn't belong here." The same vein as people get harassed when they are severely disabled and try to go out in public and are an "inconvenience" to others.

It's the feeling of not being human because you are treated like an animal so much (autism) that you try to repeat to yourself you are human but then one day you just say "fuck it, maybe I'm not human, maybe I relate to an animal more" then boom fursona unlocked.

Or it's when dog boy Yosuke kinda likes the feeling of action out of emotion/instinct and not have to rely on human expression and instead growl or raise hackels like all furries/neurodivergent people want to do.

It's excluding chocolate/onions out of recipes is relatable to Chrons/IBS people and dog people! Or buying buttons to communicate as a nonverbal dog is the same as a nonverbal human.

It's noticing seats/items that can't be used for your disabled partner the same way as your partner-slowly-turning-dog.

It's when any car noise/classroom bell is so loud to someone with more sensitive hearing is the same for people with dog ears or autism.

Or going hella angsty is dog Yosuke slowly losing his memory and Yu having to accept it. Like families having family members with alzheimer's. Do you still call someone your partner when they don't know who you are? When will Yu know when dog Yosuke's memory is fully gone? Will he wake up and see that Yosuke's eyes doesn't have that sparkle of humanity to them? Is that the "bad end"? Yu ran out of time to get the curse removed? Does Yosuke really want to be human? Why not be a dog and have your partner do everything for you? All you gotta do is protect him (and not bring your HP down to zero) . No taxes, no school, just you and your partner and maybe walkies every other say. Wouldn't that be better?

Yosuke saying "I'm sorry I'm such an inconvenience" and Yu saying "it's not an inconvenience to me cause it's you"

This is something I wished Persona 5 explored with Morgana or hell even with Shiho. Having people who need different accommodations than others and working with that and see how unjust society is if you dont have a full set of eyes/hands/functioning muscles or neurodivergent.

Maybe this au just scratches an itch I got. Or maybe I just want someone to massage my messed up joints and be with me when my flare ups are bad ;_;

Anyways, love your art as always!

this is a very generous breakdown!!

Yosuke loosing his mind is a very real fear i've only brushed on (with enough factors to suggest it be a possibility. When urges and behaviors happen- who's to say that it can't go further?) Personally, i hate bad ends, so it only stays a fear, and isn't ever a true possibility.

These drawings, specifically, were never mentioned to be: but follow discussions of that fear

However, it's an aspect i've touched on frequently with Morgana in B2I because I feel like Mona's story could have been more of that! He has to learn to control a body that is unfamiliar to him and act in ways he never had to before. He has to perform upkeep and behaviors and perform social rules he would never have to before... and he only has the grace of a year watching from the outside in. I think one of the few things i've written is actually Mona having a breakdown at being unable to hold something properly. (also, on disability in b2I: Ren suffers chronic migraines and Yu is blind)

[soapynat]

“some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make.” 𓂃 ‘ persephone “ effie “ l’oiseau ‘ — fly, little dove.

played by : anya taylor-joy (teen) , riki lindhome (adult)

layout ib @artificialroux & @puppybutcher (love your ocs!!) fyi, this is just what i’ve planned for effie at the moment and there are a lot of gaps in her storyline left for me to fill, i’m still catching up on s3 so bare w me!! also feel free to ask questions, im pretty sure ill have some sort of answer for effie in my head.

PRE-CRASH

now playing : kiss me … “ so apparently the ‘bad vibes’ i’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress. “

effie’s overall character links to the innocence and peace dove’s are most known for, but more importantly, she links to Virgin Mary as she symbolises the humanity that was originally lost when jackie succumbed to the wilderness & effie also takes on the role of a mother figure, despite being the youngest senior.

she shows a character who preserves her innocence and identity throughout the beginning of the show, but slowly begins to lose this trait of hers and it being heavily tainted by the blood of others that she chooses to destroy. she is ruthless and unforgiving.

effie was born in vancouver, canada in 1979 to a single mother who didn’t want to be a mother and was suffering from an unknown mental illness, so, effie was adopted by an elderly couple in wiskayok, new jersey.

originally, effie was nameless but her adoptive parents decided on the name persephone meaning “bringer of destruction” or alternatively, “destroyer of death”. this contrasts the meaning of her last name, l’oiseau which is french for ‘bird’.

growing up, effie was a naturally quiet girl who rarely ever went out of her comfort zone or spoke up, simply because she preferred life without distractions. however, she soon began to show symptoms of paranoia which turned her quiet and calm personality into something more sinister and aggressive.

much like lottie, effie was put on medication which seemed to cease the signs of a psychotic disorder the doctors couldn’t quite understand. now, a voice in the back of her brain was constantly warning her something was coming—something big.

now playing : oh my angel … “ you two seriously trust whatever stuff that guys giving out? “

by the time effie reached high school, she was back to the kind & peppy girl she had trained herself to become, but now she spent her time sat in her pink, brightly decorated room with natalie, her most recent addition to her life, and if you asked her, her best-friend despite their contrasting personalities as well as appearances.

effie’s style never faltered, however. she would still consistently wear bright colours but more often dull pinks. she would simply flash a fake smile if someone tried to ask her about it.

somehow, effie had managed to make friends with most of the girls’ soccer team and was someone everyone liked but especially jackie & shauna, who were practically inseparable and were definitely not in need of a third. but effie had no plans of involving herself in their—whatever they were—and stuck to nat like she always did, occasionally hanging out with lottie, ultimately being what led to effie’s involvement in soccer.

soccer was something she had always been interested in but was never allowed to do as it seemed too “boyish“ and effie was someone who appeared to be a strictly girly type of girl.

surprisingly, effie was gifted. so much so that the other girls would often nickname her “little dove“ as when she played, she turned into a completely different person, almost machine-like, but still managed to keep her happy appearance off the field.

she adored soccer, much to shauna’s dismay, so when they had finally gotten the chance to attend nationals, effie was ecstatic. she could finally showcase her talent to the world and, maybe she would become a professional somewhere along the line. maybe she would find her calling on her way to nationals.

as a celebratory reward & the night before their flight, natalie convinced effie to dye her hair a similar shade of blond to hers and reluctantly, effie gave in. this was the first sign of effie’s withering identity.

THE WILDERNESS

now playing : come as you are “ and here i was thinking life couldn’t get any better—worse. “

effie had found her forever home. in the wilderness she is needed, wanted, by everyone. she plays into the mother figure role and becomes heavily immersed in it.

effie and lottie do not get closer after the crash. they were extremely close prior and effie began to devlop some romantic feelings towards her, however, their medication ran out and they were now rivals, both vying for the wilderness’s affection and thus destroying any bond they could have had until the beginning of s2 where things begin to shift.

instead, effie bonds with tai, or more likely, other tai. but effie's paranoia permits her from thinking seriously at times, so she hides away in the wilderness for hours at a time before lottie finds her and an incident happens. effie and lottie come back soon after, both bleeding but similar smiles on their face, and is that maybe...a hint of blush on effie's cheeks? who knows.

effie also finds solace in someone she would have never expected, travis. at first, she was jealous of travis. it wasn't fair. he was taking away her best-friend, the girl who she comforted everytime she ran over to her house in tears, the girl she would do just about anything for in order to get a single minute of her attention. and here comes travis. stupid. rude. and just stupid. he gets everything effie has ever wanted without even asking for it, so she keeps her distance from travis and has a complete meltdown when travis and nat come back from an unusally long hunting trip.

jackie confronts them. effie stands with jackie, feeling red hot anger rise within her when she notices they both look messy, as if—but she stops that train of thought. she notices the look of betrayal that flashes somehwere in nat's face and scoffs. she storms off into the wilderness. her comfort.

unbeknownst to her, travis and natalie follow her as she sulks on a tree stump. she doesnt want to make it a thing, so she forgives them, if she's even allowed to, and slowly begins to form a semi-friendship with travis, which later blossoms. effie’s not sure what the three of them are to eachother, and honestly, she doesn’t wanna know. it just feels right. all is somewhat at ease.

now playing : strangers “ what doesn't kill me should run, because now i’m fucking pissed. “

until they run out of food. until effie's medication runs out. the wilderness is telling her to eat, so she eats. she doesn't feel any remorse, not one bit. but then she remembers. she remembers who she's eating and is horrified. but effie can't stop. she doesn't want to stop.

the shift in effie is obvious, to all of the yellowjackets. the mother figure they found hope in had now turned her back on them and was no longer the same. her innocence was gone, her identity had changed, but effie continued to pretend, which soothed the minds of the yellowjackets and left them unprepared for what effie would do in the future. an evil was brewing, whatever that voice in the back of her head continuously told effie to be wary of, had manifested itself into her and it was coming.

effie maintains positive relationships with everyone but almost always feels nothing when they're gone. maybe its because she's so used to loss, or maybe its something more sinister (it is). effie doesn't want to leave. ever. the wilderness loves her. and she loves the wilderness back.

ADULT TIMELINE

now playing : deception “ i’m not insane, i’m sick. you of all people should understand that. “

effie had managed to avoid numerous mental institutions by reverting back to her “ nice, quiet girl “ act and stayed loyal to wiskayok, choosing to be hidden and under the radar, becoming a therapist by lying on applications & qualifications and completely dismissing her medical history. how ironic. she only had herself, it was lonely, yes, but it was fit for someone like effie—lost and ravenous. hungry for something that wasn’t there. that wasn’t real.

effie knew the yellowjackets would come to her, the wilderness had spoken to her. it called out to her. shauna tried to tell her that her paranoia had conformed itself into something dangerous and was acting in place of the wilderness but effie payed no mind to shauna’s baseless claims. what did she know about her wilderness? certainly not more than effie did.

[aspdculture-is]

please take this with a grain of salt because this comes from someone who likely does not have ASPD, but who does have some ASPD traits along with having NPD and having either BPD or BPD traits (+ also has a friend with ASPD who I've discussed many of those with).

But, re:

Anonymous asked: Hi, I want to learn more about ASPD and how it is experienced by individuals because I know media portrayals have been awful but just wondering - are there any fictional characters who display aspd traits in as realistic a manner as possible? Thanks!

imo (+ in some other people's opinions), here are some characters that have some realistic ASPD traits, in no particular order:

(disclaimer: the quality of the representations is always debatable and exactly how good or how bad/ableist the rep is may be subjective and depends on the viewpoints and experiences of each individual)

Bibi Reden from I Love Amy (protagonist, healthy growth ending, without unrealistically losing her aspd traits or such. low-masking, except when she wants to be manipulative, which is often. by the end, she gets into a romantic relationship that grows in a healthy direction with a girl. identified as a 'yandere', but very much seems to be written and characterized with ASPD in mind. definitely a sympathetic portrayal that also touches in sanism and such. also has BPD traits.)

Sera Himeura from ib: instant bullet (not the protag, but one of the major characters. parents loved her, but was neurodivergent by genetics. hero complex, strong superficial desire to become justice/heroic. very heavily implied to have ASPD. very sympathetic portrayal. internalized sanism. tries to be a "hero" but ultimately believes herself to be inherent "evil" due to her moral values being determined by popular media with neurotypical-centric ideas of heroism, which contrasts too much with her natural lack of empathy, total inability to feel grief, atypical destructive & sadistic tendencies, etc.)

Ivan from ALNST (uhhhhh it's very easy to find information on him online but tldr: heavily ASPD-coded, stems from childhood trauma from growing in the slums, high-masking. definitely sympathetic, and not a villain, antagonist, or demonized character. has internalized sanism.)

Alina Gray from Magia Record (low-masking/no-masking case. 'crazy artist' trope but sort of subverted/expanded on. sometimes very much villainous, sometimes antagonistic, but you mainly want to read/watch her personal stories for this in which she is the protagonist and sympathetic. still def ProblematicTM rep just in case anyone would prefer to avoid those.)

other, more questionable or more minor reps:

Bing an Ben's protagonist (and another major character, though that is a major spoiler) suffers from a fictional rare-case psychiatric disorder that gives him various things including ASPD traits (and/or he develops either ASPD or ASPD traits due to childhood trauma caused by his having of that fictional disorder). the rare condition causes him to be subjected to extreme medical & societal ableism and sanism ever since he was born, and from a very young age he lives his life by trying extremely hard to perfectly mask 24/7 everywhere, fully knowing the very moment his mask slips and the world sees him for what he is (a "lunatic"/"madman") is the very moment he loses all his rights to being viewed as a "person" and a "human being" in the eyes of the sanist ableist world. indeed, his story/character deals a lot with the sanist utter demonization & dehumanization faced by people considered "insane" by society. [Also, he definitely has BPD as well.] He's 100% written very sympathetically, but also he is ABSOLUTELY a very, very ProblematicTM fave, judging by what he does in the novel, and the same goes for the romance in Bing an Ben. Please take note of all the content warnings for this novel if you are going to read it. In any case, he is protagonist and focus character, with a happy ending where he gets together with the man he loves.

this definitely isn't a major example for ASPD, but Kaguya-sama's title character & female lead Kaguya has what seems to be OSDD-1a, and while I'm not sure she necessarily has ASPD, she definitely has some ASPD traits (& BPD traits possibly?) that shows the most when one of her alters is fronting. both/all come from her childhood trauma. internalized sanism, feels like a fundamentally bad/wrong person for being abnormal -- very low empathy especially at young age, inability to properly feel grief. hates herself for not knowing how to Do things the way everyone else seems to do, without scheming plotting and manipulating, etc. [Also, the male lead/her love interest is really NPD-coded (he doesn't seem to lack empathy, but otherwise he's got all sorts of NPD traits. a very rare depiction of a 'ConventionallyTM Morally Good' narcissist in media tbh, which is refreshing to see)! they're both totally sympathetic non-villainous protagonists of the story (with a happy ending) and their story is very good and, like, simply incredibly neurodivergent in it's very premise imo]

other than that I've heard people say this about Sherlock Holmes (the original canon) too? Which. Yeah I can see it!

there may be more that I'm forgetting at the moment, but here are the instances I can think of offhand! hope this is of use or interest to someone. personally I do like all of those media a lot and would be glad if this could prompt anyone to check them out

^^^^

[omnium-gatherums]

I went from believing my life is normal, average, nothing bad has happened to me, my life is normal and fine.

To realizing I was autistic and that I have experienced abuse and trauma basically my whole life and accepting okay I'm pretty disabled.

And now realizing that I am truly extremely fucking disabled. My DID disables me to an extreme extent that I don't really see talked about, despite how much people love to preach about how DID is "ultra disabling and horrible!!!" I feel like people don't fucking GET IT, you don't get it, you don't get how fucking horrible this is, you don't get the amount of suffering we have gone through to have developed this disorder. The amount of suffering we still have to go through as we uncover memories and try to recover and go through therapy.

You see these posts right where people are like. Fuck I've uncovered horrific trauma memories and I wish I never did, it's horrific, it's awful, you don't want this, You Don't Want This, you Don't want to uncover this shit when you aren't ready, when you aren't in a place to do so, you don't get how horrible this is.

And you read those posts and maybe you dismiss it or maybe you think about how it won't be like that for you or maybe you think nothing of it, you scroll and continue on, and you just move on with your day or something.

I feel like the reality that my childhood was spent being sexually abused in horrific, disgusting, vile ways is right around the corner, staring at me with glaring, glowing eyes and the reality of it is right there, it's there staring at me and stalking me and I can almost feel it, as if I can feel it "on the tip of my tongue", and I just think to myself about how I really wish I grew up in a good home, with a good family, having a good life. I think to myself about how I wish I could go back to before this and remember my life the way I thought it was, not that I even remember any of this CSA at all, but it's all been slowly becoming more real to me and I've become more accepting of it all, I mean I can't go back now, not after sharing it all with my therapist, not after sharing it all here.

I am awfully fucking disabled and it's so fucking hard, it is so hard.

My fibromyalgia makes my whole body feel so fucking fragile, so fucking sensitive, everything just hurts all the time, and my IBS exacerbates it, and who knows what the fuck else undiagnosed shit I could have going on. Everything just hurts all the time and I can't do Shit. Everything just hurts and everything just makes me hurt and eating is impossible and living is so hard.

And I'm not even at the worst of it yet!! It's only going to get worse from here??? It's hard to believe that I wasn't happier before. Better before. Before learning anything more about myself or my life.

[ceasarslegion]

When it comes to public health care, I have this idea that instead of only defining it as lifesaving or essential care, we should define it as this baseline of quality of life, where anything that falls below that baseline would be covered by it.

Like, your average able-bodied, physically- and mentally-healthy individual who doesnt need glasses and has good teeth would be the baseline. And if you fall below it, any care you need to achieve or get as close to that baseline as you can would be covered.

Because like sure, if you have IBS, you will not die without fiber. But your life would be a lot easier and have more overall quality if you didnt have to choose between paying 20 bucks a box for an over the counter fiber powder and shitting yourself after every meal that has flavor and spices. It's absolutely not life-threatening and you can also argue it's not essential, but your quality of life does suffer if you have to fork over that much money every time or look at every meal with jalapeños in it as a potential bomb going off in your intestines.

[serendippertyy]

HELLO I JUST WANNA SAY THAT YOUR BOXFLY ART GENUINELY GIVES ME LIFE LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE YOUR ART APPEAR ON MY DASHBOARD I DO A LITTLE SQUEAL AND START GRINNING ANYWAY HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY/AFTERNOON/EVENING/NIGHT

-unhinged, slightly content starved ineffable bureaucracy shipper (suffering from ibs frfr 😔)

FJSKDK HELLOOO FELLOW BOXFLY SUFFERER IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT 🤗🤗💕💕 VERY HAPPY THAT EVERYONE IS ENJOYING THEM SM CAUSE IT IS MY PLEASURE!! MORE COMING SOON...🪰🕊️

[a-griffin-in-the-sky]

Every single day, I watched him yell, scream, tear me down until I was crying.

And everyone around me said, “Don’t take it personally. He’s just passionate. He’s sticking his neck out for you. I’ve had worse bosses.”

He was a man,that’s why. It’s always a man.

Meanwhile, when I cried, he called me emotional, a crybaby. When I shut down, he called me a hanging dog.

But no amount of excuses or sweet words changes what it is.

Abusers are still abusers, no matter how they try to dress it up.passion doesn’t break you down and love doesn’t leave bruises on your soul.

If it hurts you,if it tears you apart,that’s abuse. Plain and simple and pretending otherwise only lets abusers keep hurting people.

I don’t care the when, or why, or what he hurt me, and he never changed. He just got better at hiding it, better at working the system, a system designed to protect him while leaving me vulnerable.

It’s a world that looks the other way, that excuses the abuser and punishes the victim, and that reality? It makes me furious. Because every day, the system lets people like him get away with it.

I grew bitter more and more bitter with each passing day. I became what I hated: a bitter, angry person who hated the world. So tired. So stressed. Day in, day out, the weight of it all crushing me until all I felt was rage and exhaustion wrapped tight together.

And what happens when your mind is screaming at you, but you have to keep going? It doesn’t just wear you down it fights back. It makes you rest uneasy, triggers IBS, hemorrhoids, stomach pain, panic attacks, elevated heart rate, and crushing fatigue. Your body becomes a battlefield, every part aching from the fight you can’t stop.

You scream and cry, and then the scary thoughts come how dare he? How fucking dare he? How fucking dare everyone turn a blind eye to this!?

You think about what you could do to him how you could make him suffer. On the surface, you know you’ll never actually do it. But still, you become both disgusted and strangely intrigued by the damage you could cause if you just stepped over that line.

You want to smash his fucking face into the wall, kick his teeth out, record every sick second of his abuse and blast it everywhere for the world to see, smack him upside the head with a goddamn rolling pin. This is exactly what he asked for, this is what happens when the hanging dog finally bites back, teeth sunk deep.

But… you can’t. No matter how much the hanging dog suffers, no matter how deep the bite, it’s always the one who gets put down in the end. Left broken, silenced, and alone with nothing but the heavy weight of anger and a hollow ache that never fades.

So you’re left with your anger, brewing like poison in your gut, grinding you down until you’re doubled over at the toliet, clutching your stomach as the relentless crush of stress eats you alive from the inside out.

You tell everyone what a fucking dickhead he is, and they all agree “Just leave.” But it’s never that fucking simple. You can’t just walk away when your whole goddamn livelihood is on the line. Leaving means losing everything, and sometimes, surviving means swallowing the shit and staying silent.

So you get help. You get a pill to swallow down the hatch, and it helps you feel energized again. You get some time away from him. But then, you have to go back. And even though the chemical balance in your brain is restored, but he is still there.

It’s never enough. After a while, your symptoms come crashing back—you can’t sleep, your mind races. You mistake a panic attack for withdrawal, convinced you forgot your meds. But you did take them. You even took another one, and you nearly overdose.

You did the right thing. You called for help, reached out, looked after yourself until your heart rate finally slowed. But now… what? You have to go back. Back to the same place, the same pain, the same nightmare waiting for you.

So you plaster on your smile and say, “I’m glad to be back. It’s been hell the past week for me.”

And the other person whose soul’s been warped into one of his flying monkeys just frowns with thinly veiled resentment and says, “Yeah, it’s been hell for all of us.”

And that’s it. That’s all it took, after everything, that was the last straw.

You try to hold it together, but the moment you’re alone, your body betrays you. You start to shake, the nausea rising, and you text your people for help.

Then you do the only thing you can do.

You leave.

You’re scared beyond belief, every part of you trembling with the unknown. But somehow, it feels hopeful you’ve made it this far, and that’s something.

Thanks for reading. I’m going to keep speaking my truth, and every bit helps. If you can, please consider donating to my Ko-fi your support means the world.

[heartattackinblackhairdye326]

what happened in my banana fish season 2 dream I had last night cause my imagination is wayyy too active

So it starts with Ash waking up in a hospital, but it's not an actual hospital and it's part of a prison.

Ash is still injured but he stays quiet, extremely nervous and full of caution as the guards take him out of the room and brings him to this dirty, overcrowded cell with like 7 guys.

Ash is confused because while he can guess, he's not sure why he's in prison and nobody will tell him why.

Eiji gets a call from someone ( I think Alex??? Idk) asking if Ash went to Japan because he disappeared without a trace. Eiji convinces Ibe to bring him back to america and look for them. Also If Yut lung and sing are tweaking out about the whole situation, sing thinks Ash is dead and yut lung thinks this situation has something do do with Blanca. Eiji and the gang team up with Max and Jessica, and it turns out Jessica quit her job at Playgirl and is now working as a private investigator with Max and they have their own business so they try to find out what happened to Ash.

By the way, all of the shit with Golzine and the US government scandals are on the news 24/7. There are riots, more victims ( not those who were trafficked, but abused by the perpetrators in other situations, like at work) come out and it's just a huge thing.

So Ash is trying to figure why he's in this nasty ass jail and one of the guys in his cell is an ex judge, not someone who knows Ash, and he's in for taking bribes. He claims to not have done anything, but he's pretty sketchy and is very clearly a corrupt liar, but this grown ass man is also terrified. I don't remember why but they get into some kinda argument and Ash beats the fuck outta him. Ash notices that all of the people in this cell are people who were formerly either in the government in some way, or involved in public services or associations. He also notices that they must not be under maximum security because they can do pretty much whatever, kinda like the first jail he was in. The main difference is that people mostly keep to themselves, and they aren't really any gangs.

There is a guard who hangs out around their cell, and he is the worst. He pretty much just punishes the prisoners for no reason and blows cigarette smoke in their faces. He's also a major creep who exchanges goods and information to inmates for sexual favors, and he essentially preys on Ash.

Jessica ends up digging stuff up and they find out about the prison Ash is in, and so Eiji comes to visit the prison, and he calls Ash behind one of those weird glass phone table things? Like the kind where you can see each other through the glass but have to talk on the phone.

Ash is really upset when Eiji visits him because he wanted all the drama to just be over, and he questions why he is still even alive, but nonetheless he is still happy to see Eiji. Ash tells Eiji that he's gotta get out of there, but he also lies and tells him that his time hasn't been too bad, but Eiji notices that Ash has bruises/ Hickeys on his kneck and he gets angry that Ash has to still continue to suffer the abuse and objectification even after Dinos death. Ash also tells Eiji not to bring Max to see him, but doesn't elaborate on why.

Ash, as well as his friends outside the prison keep investigating, and Eiji visits Ash every single day. On one of their meetings, Ash tells Eiji that he needs to bring him two rings, because he thinks the phones are being tapped and he wants them to talk in privacy but they need to pretend to be engaged in order to get a conjugal visit approved, Eiji agrees too this and then Ash starts loudly yelling over the phone stuff about how they are gonna get married when he's let out, and all the guards give judging looks.

Then Ash walks around the Jail at night, trying to find that creeper/ guard dude, but some other guard tells him that he's no longer working their.

He next morning is the conjugal visit with Eiji which was really funny because they both get led to this little room and Ash shoos away the guards. When they get inside and lock the door Ash tells Eiji that he doesn't know why he's there, and they talk about the population of the prison and how it's mostly former Government agents. Eiji hugs Ash and tells him that he will get him out and Ash will have a good life, and Ash jokingly asks if he really does want to get married.

Then I woke up👁️👄👁️

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENED

sometimes I'm grateful for being an exceptionally long and vivid dreamer but I get so disappointed when I wake up. I've literally dreamt about meeting celebrities and having family's and they feel so real. Maybe I should write a fan fic about this idea and elaborate on it more with new ideas but I can't really think of any 😭

Also why tf does Ash have to suffer even in my DREAMS. GIVE BRO A BREAK

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Everything they're trying to do to humiliate and degrade this disabled man they've arrested is not going to work on me...

They posted a picture of this man incarcerated and it looks like he urinated in his pants. Mind you, this disabled man has a spinal injury and nerve pain.

I find any social media posts sharing it to get a laugh from people highly suspicious. The only reason why anyone would find that funny is they're ableist.

I had a minor spinal injury and ongoing nerve pain and numbness. My mom had a major spinal injury and sciatica.

This disabled man also supposedly suffers from IBS and so do I. He is on the same diet as I am, which is highly restrictive and difficult to follow.

I also struggle to make it to a bathroom in time, and I'm a strong advocate for bathroom accessibility. This extends to incarcerated people.

I have much more in common with him than any CEO. If he wet himself, it was in response to lack of bathroom access in custody and/or brutality.

Why would I see that as a sign of weakness or a failing on his part? To me it underscores the ableism of our institutions.

If you can't handle the fact that disabled people often lose control of their bodily functions then you you need to work on that.

Everyone can become disabled. It is the single unifying factor of all humanity, aside from death. That is the core of all of this.

Disability & Death, and who gets to command and control death. Are we able to resist a system that progressively disables you until you die.